I don't know what to say. I feel as though a giant weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I feel like a new person again. I don't know why.

I feel human. I realize that I am not in control over everything I do. If I stress out, it's not in my control. I just have to accept it, and move on. Last week was quite possibly the hardest week I have had in the past 2 years. Sunday was quite possibly the hardest day in 3 years. But I survived.

I showed up at my home away from home, and when my parents saw me, this is what they said...

Mother - "You look so tired. You look older than what you are. Do you even sleep anymore?"

Father - "You do look tired, but you look good, son."

I am tired. Not physically. Mentally. I am burnt out. Well, I was.

I couldn't concentrate on anything as close as 36 hours ago. When I got back to my dorm, I watched the NBA All Star game, and cleaned up my half. And out of nowhere, I got my energy back. I can think again. Something gave me that lift I need. I still don't know what.

Why was Sunday so hard for me? Because Feb. 15th is a special day. No, not because it's the day after V-day. It's the birthday of past love. I never got to spend it with her, but that's ok. So long as I make it through that day, I am well. Yet, the more I try to forget, the more it becomes embedded in my memory. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can live with that. The good memories out-number the bad ones. I made it past that day, and I can look forward to another good 364 days.

Got my basketball shoes finally. Also got some new finger sleeves. Legends of the Fall is on right now, but I need to get sleep. Night.