Following Leticia, I figure this could be fun.

The Holy Empire of FBombAndy

Check it out.

How odd....it's like a sign or something.

Just now, 2:30AM...some chics called my room. Said, "Is this a taxi cab service?" Knew it had to be a wrong number. "Would you be willing to help some oklahome girls out?" SO I looked up the famous Roy's Taxi service in Austin. Got them the number. But they said something about coming over you my place or something, I dunno. If I had an apartment, oh man would I. But, the stupid dorm has ID checks after 12.

Wait....Sooner girls!?!?! Never...I'm a Longhorn all the way.

Umm...no intention with that one.

This day does not exist.

Which reminds me, I want to have all of my anniverseries on this date. Should I ever get married, it will have to be on the 29th of February.

After a couple of days off, I'm finally up to posting again. It's not like a ton of things have happened during my break, but I figure I should at least write something.

Both of the tests I missed are rescheduled for Monday. This is good. E is having some party thing tomorrow night, well, tonight really since it's already saturday. He wants me to come because I know how to bartend. He says that all the youngens there drink Everclear and just get trashed. I know what he means. People here that I know just drink to get drunk. No class, no sophistication. Back in the day when I could drink, it was strictly for relaxation purposes. I would never get smashed or such. And I didn't do shots as fast as possible to get a 'buzz.' I had a pace and I had a style. I know how to drink, and it's a shame I can't use that knowledge.

But yea, he doesn't like the idea that the people there are going to make crap stuff. He doesn't want to just throw up his guts and feel crappy the next morning. He wants to enjoy every moment to the max. It's understandable. So he wants me there to make drinks and to possibly meet some of the more interesting chics. That's what I would do this for. That'd be the main reason. Go to some party, chics love the bartender, and I'm good. Of course, I'm not going to drink. I can't. And with the new medication, alcohol is just off limits no matter what. I don't give in to peer pressure, so that's in my favor.

Either way. No other plans for this weekend, except for some heavy study on Sunday. I want to make As on these tests. It would definitely help me heal faster.

By the which, Mavs and Sacto both won Thursday night. To all those NBA 'analysts' out there, you can eat my ass. You don't need the top defense to win games. All the time, ESPN is talking about how the Spurs can repeat because of their superior defense. That number one defense couldn't stop the Mavs. Sac, another offensive heavy team, won their game. You don't need pure defense. You just have to outplay the other team. Sac and Mavs are destined to meet in the Western finals. I want the score to be tied in game 7. I want 35 seconds on the clock. I want Peja to hit a jumper with his foot on the 3-point line. With 10 seconds left, I want to see the ball in Dirk's hands for the game-winning 3. I don't care if it falls or not, that's just ideal to me.

I'm all the way for the Mavs. I appreciate Sac and what they have brought to the table. I understand the greatness of both teams. It's just like, my favorite player isn't in Dallas. Even though his team is losing, my fave player is still Tracy McGrady. Number two is Dirk. Number three is Peja. I have my T-Mac Bball shoes, and I have the Nowitski jersey. I don't have anything belonging to Peja. Except for his game style. I love spotting at the 3, I love trying my reverse layup, and I love it when people fear my outside shot.

Last time I played a full-court game, I took the first shot for my team, and I sank it. College 3-point line. Nothing but net. I didn't make another shot after that. I didn't get the ball much after that. But that guy opposite me stuck with me the rest of the game. It's about respect. I want people to say, "Crap, I need to guard him." I like that.

Spent last night in the ER. Really sucked. Had to have the IV input and what not. Blood drawn, blood pressure, played 20 questions with the nurses. Got a ride in an ambulance. They were really nice to me. My friends and family here in Austin showed up a bit after I made it to the hospital. It really made me feel tons better. Had to wear that gown with the back showing. That sucked.

Stress, frustration, it finally all oveflowed. Now I'm taking two medications for the next week or so. Missed two midterms today as well. I'm trying to contact my professors to schedule a make-up exam. Still no word from them. One class tomorrow, and it's not 'til after noon. So I'll be able to rest.

Diet is changed again. Doctor wanted me to start with jello and water, and slowly build my way up. Only thing I've eaten today is chicken soup without the chicken. Snacking on some cheddar goldfish. Drinking water like it's....water.

So yea. I just gotta relax even more. That's going to be something else, because I already relax all the time.

Otherwise, nothing new. I'm done though. I've learned. And knowing is half the battle.

Still early, I may write more. Don't know yet.

Checked out this Googlism and it was actually funny...some of it.

(They all start with _____ is...)
"Andy is a naughty boy.
Andy is dandy. <<<< I hate that one. But it's a coincidence.
Andy is a gambling man. <<<< So true...really. I love to gamble.
Andy is not a pimp but he knows one.
Andy is tearing my shower curtain liner.
Andy is a very lovable guy.
Andy is one gorgeous boy - no one can deny that.
Andy is for sale."

There were other hilarious ones, but I can't mention those here. Might be kids passing through.

I should probably elaborate on my busted knuckle. I don't really tell that story.

Putting together a computer, knuckle hits something hard. Next thing I know, I can't move it very well. I take a look, and big bubble has formed. Turned purple, and it was kinda weird. Woke up my Dad, he decided I should go to the ER, just t make sure nothing was broken. X-rays came back, nothing broken, so the doctor 'prescribed' some ice and pain killers. Pathetic. I could have just stayed home and been fine. That knuckle was purple for a while, and it's still visible where there's some blood left. I laugh it off now.

I have this titanium ring that I wear on my right middle finger. It's my reminder to never punch things again. Or to never hurt my hand. Put that along with my messed up right hand index finger, and it's a wonder I'm still shooting well (Bball).

The index finger. I don't remember exactly how it happened. But I think it happened playing ball, the ball hit my finger kinda weird, and I think it got jamed pretty bad. Usualy when a finger gets jammed, it's right at the base knuckle. This was the second knucle, located in the middle of a finger. I don't know the medical terms and what not, so just imagine. But ever since then, that joint will hurt if it's bent in any awkward direction no matter how light a force is applied. That explains why I wear those finger sleeves when I'm playing ball. They really help. I'm breaking two new ones in right now.

My need to scream is based on my frustration. I know my own potential academically, and I'm not meeting it. Each semester is getting better, but I'm the type that likes to see results right away. I was good in math for quite some time, but now I'm stumbling at that. History has always been a B class for me, so I'm used to that. I figure I can make As in Government and my computer science class. Psychology...well...like I was warned, it's not what I expect. I still like it, but I tend to fall asleep in there because the professor talks just like Ozzy, and he's just as old. Not the best combination.

I understand that there are people out there who would love to be in my shoes. I know there are people out there who would kill to make some of my grades (definitely not all). No, I'm not trying to make myself out to be some genius or something. Tell me I'm smart, and I'll just shy away from the subject. If I make an A on a test, you won't know unless you ask. Only my family knows what I made on the SAT. I'm sure some others have asked, but I usually just mumble out some number. I'm fairly certain they don't hear me.

This brings me to an interesting issue.

The 'gifted' and 'bright' kids who hate being called smart. Who hate the 'high expectations' of others. Who hate being labeled a 'brain.'

I hit that phase a while back. Completely hated talking about it. Hated being asked questions just because "Hey! You're smart, you should know." In high school, I found that you didn't have to live through that every day if you kept to yourself. Go to your AP classes, but outside of that, keep quiet. Let people come to you and talk. Discuss what they want to talk about, even if it's as simple as "What do you think of this teacher?" Don't discuss things you just learned in Calc.

The worst feeling I have ever had was when a female friend of mine said, "When I'm around you, I feel so...dumb." That broke me. She tried to make it better by saying, "It's not your fault though." Still sucked. And that changed everything. I don't remember if I tried to discuss Physics or something, but whatever it was, I stopped. I'm sure it must have been something like me helping her with homework, explaining the basics of Trig. I have patience when I'm trying to teach someone something. And I've been told that I'm good at explaining things. Still...I stopped.

I went through high school wondering what it was like to be the kid who brought home Cs and Bs. The kid who worked 5 hours a night on homework just to get a chance at an A-.

Now I know.

What to say, what to say....

I'm a bit happier today, although I have two tests Wednesday. Whatever happy feelings were on the way, well, they're turning around right now. I don't like tests at all. Luckily these are tests in Government and Psychology. I should do fine, or at least well enough. I think I'll spend most of tomorrow studying. Well, bro said he might visit after my classes, so I'll take that into consideration as well.

You're absolutely right. A hot chic or two. It's exactly what I need. Now I just have to put forth some effort, at least more than usual. My confidence wave is on the rise again, so soon enough. I am in college. This is supposed to be the time when I just go wacky crazy.

Still thinking about what to do in this college thing. I was thinking maybe I should double major in Computer Science and Music Composition. Those two combined are pretty promising for my future.

It's weird though. The two things I would love to do are A.) be a music producer or B.) be a music talent scout. Sis-in-law used to work for Warner-Electra-Atlantic. She doesn't anymore, so there goes my easy way in. I am in Austin, live music capital of world, nation, something. But the music here isn't in the group of genres I am well-knowledged in. Alternative, Jazz, and Rock. That's it. Don't give me folk, country or such. If there's anything I hate, it's a single guy with a guitar singing love songs. Totally makes me want to punch them in the face. The only exceptions are those who model themselves after James Taylor. Even then, get something original.

I still want to scream. I used to punch things, walls or doors, but because I busted my right middle knuckle, I can't anymore. Busted a vein or something. I'll bust it again by punching stuff. I've got all sorts of problems.

Radiohead - How I made My Millions

Quite possibly the most beautiful song I have ever heard.

I'm out.

"They were using a lot of strategy against me that I didn't really like," Yao said. "They were doing a lot of hitting. I didn't like the way they were playing me."

courtesy of ESPN.com

That's exactly what I want to see Yao do. Go for 41 points, 16 rebounds and 7 assists. And then say those exact things. Make the other team know you don't like it when they hit you. And when they do hit you, you're going to make them pay. Way to go, Yao.

My stomach has been really terrible lately. Anytime I eat, I get real bad acid reflux. I'm definitely going to have to see the doctor.

I want to scream. I just want to yell. Not at anyone, but into the air. Not one of those stupid screeches. I want to just take a deep breath, and be as loud as I can.

I'm almost at my breaking point. That's when I just go crazy for a while. Real moody and what not. I don't want it to happen, but things just suck.

I want to go to an island with no one there. I want to be alone. Where I can just spend my time thinking about things that fascinate me. When I don't have to answer to anyone.

I'm so tired of thinking about people that don't think about me. I'm done. I'm just going to have to move on.

That's something I like about Austin. Yea, I'll bug friends to come down and visit. But it's rare if someone does. And it means that I can focus more on the few people I need to. If I lived in Dallas still, the drama would destroy me. Makes me so much happier to be here.

I think I'm really certain about living here in Austin from now on. When I go back home, I see my parents and all, but that's it. And with this nephew on the way, my parents are going to be traveling to Austin more. So there's no use in going back. I've got no strings attached. The only reason I ever do go home is to get my hair cut. My hair stylist is so good. She's knows exactly what I like, what I don't like, and she's so sweet. She's only been cutting my hair for about 2 years or so, but still. It's nice to have one thing static.

It's late, I should probably be going to bed. The more sleep I get, the more likely I am to feel better.

Just got back from 6th street, and if you know Austin, you've heard the stories. Well, today was some Mardi Gras thing. Or Mardi Gras Saturday....something.

It was actually pretty tame. Few flashers, and the ones that did were mobbed by guys. I didn't see much. Still, it's nice to be able to say, "Hey, I was there."

Today was alright. Woke up at noon. Ate some cereal. Ate at Gatti's about an hour later. Pizza and cereal don't go real well together. I'm learning that right now. Came back to the dorm, looked for some stuff, then went over to my bro's. Played some NCAA, E told us he was sick. Cold or something. That just sucks, because I get extremely pissed when I'm sick, or when I think someone might get me sick. I lived through it, and we'll find out if I caught anything in a week or two. Came back to the dorm. Roomie and some of his friends were here. Got talked into 6th street. It was fun. I'm glad I went, and didn't stay inside these walls. The bus ride over there sucked. There was this one blonde on the bus, she was talking on her phone, and she was talking about her being pissed and that she's not going to go now. I don't know. Pointless.

I was hoping maybe I could find me a hot chic for the mean time. I bailed on the idea. I'm not really meant for that kinda thing. I like development. And yes, I didn't realize that until about a week ago.

Now I'm extremely tired. I can't believe I am this tired. I still wanted to post something though. Alright, I'm beat.

I saw this other person's blog. They dedicated an entire post to why they appreciated a certain person. A list of compliments, things that they like, and just the greatness of it all. What this person wrote was deep, personal, and sincere. Even though there were typos and grammar mistakes, it was one of the best reads. It made me smile, and that's no easy task.

I can't do that. Anyone who reads this, I don't know well enough. And those who don't read this, well, I guess it wouldn't be worthwhile to dedicate something to them. It almost saddens me.

Oh well.

I forgot to mention this dream I had a while back...

(This is just the part I remember the best.)

The key details are that I had just woken up and I was laying in my bed. I moved my leg and felt something next to it. I sat up in my sheets, and saw this girl. Her head was at my feet, and my head was at her feet. But she said something weird, about how she wasn't going to let me go. Her eyes turned red, and her teeth turned into fangs. I quickly grabbed for her throat and started choking her. But she said something like, "It's too late, I already have you soul, and now I'm going to take you with me..." Right then and there, I woke up.

Awake and back in reality, I sat up in my bed and reflected on the dream. I was really freaked out. I couldn't make sense of it at all. But it kept me awake for an extra 30 mins.

I don't get nightmares. I tend to laugh it off in my dream. Skeletons, zombies and such make me laugh in my dreams. I end up punching them, or setting them on fire. I stand back, and just smile at them as they hurt. For 12 years, I didn't have one bad dream. That includes the 40 or so where I've been stabbed, shot, cut up, smashed, and fallen to my death. They say that if you don't wake up before you hit the surface, you actually die. I am living proof that this is not accurate. Fell out of an airplane, landed on some house and went right through. Dream went black. I woke up when my alarm went off. When I was shot to death, the dream continued into the future where doctors had fixed me up. It was just weird.

But this dream actually disturbed me. For the following 3 days, I was constantly thinking about it. It really freaked me out. But I can live with one bad dream per 12 years. That's fine.

Most of my other dreams are pretty sweet. Swimsuit supermodels begging me to date them and what not. OK ok, not really. But maybe tonight will be the night. I can hope.

By the way, I've learned that if I realize I am dreaming, I can control my actions and the setting. Can anyone else do this? I haven't found anyone else that can. And I don't mean once. I can do this about every other dream. It's weird too.

"We all know the monkey can jump on the desk, but he has to learn to rollerskate! Is it that hard?!"
- Tony Kornheiser

"Baby take off your cool,
I wanna see you, I wanna see you.
Baby don't be so cool,
I wanna see you, I wanna see you

Baby take off your cool,
I want to get to know you."

OutKast with Norah Jones - "Take Off Your Cool."

I didn't post much for yesterday, but I really wasn't up to it. I was helping people out, and I didn't have anything left. I really give it my all when I have my sights set on something. When I help someone, I help them the best that I can.

"Personal Counselor", "Woman's Self-Help Book", these are things I've been called. And I have to say I'm happy with that. I might be the guy sitting alone in the corner, with the lights dimmed, but I'm not a bad guy. I just keep to myself. If you're interested, come sit down next to me. Conversations are bound to be good, and troubles will disappear.

A few called me mysterious in high school. I didn't really like it, but it was nice to know some people thought of me. As someone pointed out so well the other night, I am a loner. Or I was. I might still be, I dunno. But in high school, it was rare that I met new people. I was happy enough with the people I knew. Then they'd introduce me to their friends, and such. I remember this one girl. Her best friend was a friend of mine as well. Though, we never talked except for a few small occasions. Later I found out that she thought I was scary. So I approached her, and just laid it out. The way I was, the way I thought and etc. Next thing I know, she's doing the whole "running the finger down my chest" thing. I think she was geniunely interested. Looking back, it puts a smile on my face. I just wish more people would have gotten to know me. Doesn't happen without effort from both sides though.

I don't know if I'll go to my high school reunion. I know I know, it's 8 years away. But still, I like to think ahead to those things. If I went, I'm sure some people would want to know where I've been and what I'm doing. On the other hand, I wouldn't be happy to meet someone I hated and find out they are better off than me. My motivation for success is to show it at that reunion. I want to walk up to the people that turned their back on me, rejected me, and hated me. I want to tell them how happy I am, and say it with a huge grin. I want them to dislike me even more. Then I'll walk to the people that actually said "Hey, he's got potential." I want to put my arm around them, show them their gifts and offer my help anytime.

When I first got into high school, I didn't know a bunch of people. But the first thing on my mind was the group of people I care about. I would tell my parents about how I wanted to buy an island just for the people I love, and have them live there without working. Or to have a big mansion. Just somewhere private for everyone. I wanted everyone around me to be comfortable. That was my motivation for quite some time. I still think about it, but I know that to produce those results, I'm going to have to cure something or create a new software.

My motivation flickers off and on, and that's what kills me the most during classes. I'll lose my motivation for weeks at a time, and everything will feel hopeless. Then it hits me again, and I really get things rolling.

Right now I'm at the high point of my sine wave. Or I'm close to it. Sorry for the trig reference.

But either way, I'm going to sleep. Can't believe I got my program finished already. It felt too easy. Maybe I should look over it...

You know what? It'd make me feel great if everyone would put together their two words that describe me. Stuff like "personal counselor" or "dumb ass" (isn't that one word?). It would keep me at my peek for a bit longer. Comment!

Gary Payton trying to pull a Mike Tyson on Speedy Claxton.....great drama. I love it.

Bill Walton - "Did you get any of that cake during half-time? Man, that was the best birthday cake ever."
Greatest commentator today. Doesn't have to talk about basketball, it just matters that he's speaking. Greatness.

Yes, that does say "Nude Golf" and "Flight Fantasies." This picture was taken well over 8 years ago, and it's still hilarious. Enjoy!

Damn ham sandwiches keeping me awake.

I want to sleep, right now. But the thing is, if I get 8 hours of sleep or more, I will wake up feeling more tired than now. This is why I try to force myself to sleep only 7 to 7 1/2 hours. Plus, it will force me to adjust to long days and such. I know when I graduate and get a job, I'll have to get into the schedule of sleepless nights and such. I'll be ready. It'll also force me to get healthier. I'll start going to the gym more often and for longer periods of time. When I'm playing basketball 5 times a week, and I'm playing for about 3 hours at a time, I'll be happy.

I'm getting into the habit of eating Ham sandwiches for lunch everyday. They are so good. I can't stop. I almost had one for dinner as well. Walking back from my matrices homework, and I just got a taste for that cheddar. Decided to grab some Cheetos instead. I am almost back on track for 3 meals a day. Last year I was pretty much eating one big meal a day, and this semester I'm eating two large meals a day. I can't eat breakfast, so I'll be stuck with lunch, supper, and dinner. Ha!

"Breakfast, brunch, lunch, dunch, dinner, dupper, supper, and seakfast. Last night I couldn't get out of bed, so I ate my bean bag." - Fake Greggo.

I love that. Hilarious. 1310AM The Ticket.

Man, just sitting here and I want that sandwich. Damn. So yea, did my homework, still have to start my program. That's gonna suck. Its a program about matrices!

OK, nevermind, I am tired, so I'm going to sleep.

Ahh, just read a comment...

Things did not end as well as they should have. I closed the door behind me, thinking I'd never want to be there again. I made a mistake. There are things in my past I regret. But I can live with my regrets. They are few and far in between. Also, I guess we (I) decided not to talk again, and that has lasted all of...three years and a month.

I don't know what I miss exactly. It's more of a "what could have been?" For all I know, it could have been one of those relationships that actually lasts after high school. Or it could have ended the next day regardless. I don't know. And that curiousity kills me.

And for my third paragraph, I will state that she probably has moved on, and she probably doesn't even think about it anymore. I don't know. I don't want to know how she feels. Those aren't my questions.

I must say, that this path I am currently on is going just fine for me. I'm at UT, no strings attached in Dallas (by that I mean girlfriend or such), and I'm single. It takes a lot to make things work with such distance. I've seen it with my own eyes. Going home every other weekend takes its toll. But if you can stick it out long enough, it doesn't matter. It pays.

Sure, you can list scenarios. But I guess all that matters is reality. And what I know is that it's in the past, and there's no use crying over spilled milk. Or the past in this case.

I need to buy that movie on DVD. And I need to pay more attention to the score. Man, a freakin' bear! Greatness.

Four classes. Went by alright. I have to actually go to my TA session for my computer science class. Apparently they don't like the way I write code. They can kiss my ass.

Two classes then tomorrow. That's not too bad. I have a break from 11 to 12:30. That'll give me time to eat or whatever. It's not enough time to go to the gym though. Those are the best hours to go, because no one is there. I went today at around 5, and all the courts were full. I wasn't up for a real game, I just wanted to shoot around. I decided to just spend an hour carrying the ball and dribbling every now and then. I got reacquainted with the ball. It's been a month since I last played, so it's good just to get my hands back.

I should probably start my homework. If I get it done early, I can spend more time at the courts. Thursdays are when I plan to wake up at 9, go to the courts by 10, and play until 11:30. That's a good solid hour and a half. It'll give me time to shower (I like to smell good. My shampoo smells like oranges) and to eat a brief lunch.

If Max isn't going to be back at ATH, then I know just who should replace him. Jay Mohr. He's funny, and he knows his sports. It would be quite a show.

I did stock up on those hearts. I've already eaten one package. Well, I don't like the white ones, so I don't eat those.

If there's any sandwich I could spend the rest of my life eating, it would be a smoked ham, cheddar, and mayo sandwich. Mayo on one side, and not the Miracle Whip crap. I'm talking Kraft Mayonaisse. I hope I spelled that right. Miracle Whip has this sweetness to it that I hate. And no other mayonaisse tastes as good as Kraft's. Cheddar has become my favorite. And there's nothing like smoked ham. I like smoked cheddar, and smoked gouda, but I feel that I prefer that smokiness in the meat. It's part of how picky I am. For instance, this has to be the exact order of my sandwich, or I won't like it (I'll still eat it, just not with the same satisfaction)

Starting from the bottom: bread, mayo, ham, cheddar, bread.

Yes, I can tell the difference, without looking, if the mayo is on both sides, or if it's next to the cheese. Mayo and cheese produce a distinctive flavor. So if that's not the order, I get mad.

I like creamed corn. Didn't try it until Super Bowl weekend, but I just got a craving for it.

Well, either way, I'm going to get ready for bed. I've had a long day. 8:45 to now. Straight. No naps. I don't believe in naps, unless I'm sick. I think that's the only excuse. Oh, well, I guess it's important for older people. And by older, I mean older than me. My dad is older than me, and I think it's fine for him to take a nap. He works too hard. If you're a baby, then yea, I guess it's ok for you to take a nap. But if you can't stay awake for 16 hours straight, it's time to see the doctor. Unless, like I said, you are older than me, sick, or you are a baby.

Yea. Bed...

I don't know what to say. I feel as though a giant weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I feel like a new person again. I don't know why.

I feel human. I realize that I am not in control over everything I do. If I stress out, it's not in my control. I just have to accept it, and move on. Last week was quite possibly the hardest week I have had in the past 2 years. Sunday was quite possibly the hardest day in 3 years. But I survived.

I showed up at my home away from home, and when my parents saw me, this is what they said...

Mother - "You look so tired. You look older than what you are. Do you even sleep anymore?"

Father - "You do look tired, but you look good, son."

I am tired. Not physically. Mentally. I am burnt out. Well, I was.

I couldn't concentrate on anything as close as 36 hours ago. When I got back to my dorm, I watched the NBA All Star game, and cleaned up my half. And out of nowhere, I got my energy back. I can think again. Something gave me that lift I need. I still don't know what.

Why was Sunday so hard for me? Because Feb. 15th is a special day. No, not because it's the day after V-day. It's the birthday of past love. I never got to spend it with her, but that's ok. So long as I make it through that day, I am well. Yet, the more I try to forget, the more it becomes embedded in my memory. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can live with that. The good memories out-number the bad ones. I made it past that day, and I can look forward to another good 364 days.

Got my basketball shoes finally. Also got some new finger sleeves. Legends of the Fall is on right now, but I need to get sleep. Night.

I was just thinknig to myself...

Everyone out there that's getting hits like crazy have one thing in common. They are all original and creative. I must say, I don't know if I have either.

Sure, there's only one 'me' so I guess that counts towards originality. But what do I bring to the table from a creative perspective? What do I bring that someone else hasn't?

So I was just now thinking about how I could start trying to write non-sensical things and call it a creative overflow. But then it hit me...I don't have my creativity anymore. I can't write fiction, poetry, or short stories. I can't.

Give me a topic, and I can write a column for you. That's it. It made me think about switching majors to Journalism, but then people told me that if I wanted to get into sports, I'd have to start at the bottom. That would mean the lesser sports, such as golf, or Nascar. My area of knowledge only extends to football and basketball, more so to basketball. I understand the pick and roll. I know how to do post moves. I know how to shoot. For football, I can throw a ball pretty well, I can catch almost anything thrown in my direction, and I can run pretty fast. No lateral movement though, because these knees are older than me. A t least, that's how it feels. Yes, those are examples of actually playing the game, but I can set up plays, manage player rotations, and I know what to do in special situations.

Those broadcast announcers echo exactly what I say, even though they can't hear me. It'll be like, "Why'd he throw to Galloway? Bryant had the slant!" and then the announcers would say, "Well, looking at this replay, Quincy just made a bad decision. Galloway had too much coverage, and Bryant was wide open." For real, I have witnesses.

Either way, going back home tomorrow. So I probably won't have a post for Saturday. Sorry. But yea, I've only had one question asked so far, and I'm going to need more. Even if you are just joking. Well, gonna go to two classes (I'm skipping two others so me and my friend can avoid traffic and weather) but unfortunately, they are my two morning classes. Oh, wait. No CS tomorrow, 'cause he cancelled. YES! One class, and I'm done.

Off to my dreams. Gonna sleep.

What if I do use F-bombs, but put them in a white color font? Then, if you want to be offended, you could just highlight the text. For instance, I think Spears can buy my computer.

How many people actually highlighted that? Vote now! Good idea? Bad idea? How do you feel?

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but...

I seriously thing walking around bare foot is horrible. Even if you're at home. The only exception in my mind is when you first wake up. Otherwise, I feel that socks should be worn at all times. This also leads to my hate for sandals. Nothing good can happen from wearing sandals.

Spears, yes she sucks. And just like a whore, she gets paid for it.

Sweet, a friend of mine is going to let me borrow his PS2. He's been working real hard, and he doesn't play it much. I'm going to hook it up to my computer and I'll be even happier.

Some might call me a 'nerd' (Every test I've taken though considers me to be a jock....weird) and I really don't care. There are different levels of nerdiness. A guy who does computer programming for a living is less of a nerd than a guy who does it for fun on friday nights. A guy who can build a computer but school you in B-ball, is less of a nerd than a guy who has a human size robot to satiate his physical desires. I don't know where I came up with that...

My point is, fine, call me a nerd, but chances are you're a bigger nerd than me.

Got all my homework done today. I feel good. I don't have to wake up early tomorrow, so I'm staying up late being bored. HA!

So yea, I want more questions. I feel that it will put me back on the right track. I was looking through my archives, and I realized that I've written a lot. And I know remember a lot from those months. Weird that August doesn't show up. It was only two posts anyway.

I had somethig to say, but I've already forgotten. I'm so forgetful.

2 days, 3 days, I'm done. I get to go to Albertson's and get those huge bags of candy hearts at half-price. Then I get to stop thinking about holidays. Spring Break coming up. Don't know what I'm going to do yet. I might just sleep that week away.

I'm not kidding....some lucky girl will hear me sing, and be like, "Why aren't you trying out for American Idol?"

(Wishful thinking for a music contract.)

American Idol...

I think this is the worst thing for the music industry. It takes random losers with some talent and places them in front of a bubble gum audience to see what the next pop song hit will be. Yes, there are occasionally a few talented people. But for some reason, the audience wouldn't know quality if it bit them on the ass. This is the same crowd that truly believes Spears can sing.

Oh yea, there's a winner. It ain't me though. Pretty much because they all suck, the one who sucks the least gets a contract. In the process of becoming the next American Idol, they get to do covers of great songs so they can seem better. If I sing "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder, it doesn't matter if I miss 3 or 4 notes, because it's a good song, and people will say, "Hey! At least he's trying." Well 3 or 4 notes missed is too bad.

Why do we want an American Idol when there's 50 billion pop artists out there? And wouldn't making a 3rd season just take away from whoever won the first two? American Idol is singular, so there can be only one, right?

This crap of a show teaches kids (and parents) that if you train (your children) to sing and buy plastic surgery, you can be a music icon.

Madonna didn't have this, Dave Groehl didn't have this, Stevie Wonder didn't have this, and Norah Jones didn't have this. These people are stars and idols, not because they took the easy road, but because they worked their asses off. You don't need a show to prove your good, as long as you are good and original. Bring something different to the table. Don't give me whack-ass arpeggios and wild vibrato. Give me quality.

The hardest thing for a singer to do is to hold a note steady, in tune, with no vibrato. One note, in tune, that's all.

I hate that show. Don't blame your CD sales drop on downloading music, blame it on American Idol.

Something new...post a question in the comments thing, and I'll answer it, so long as I can answer it without research. Also, can't be extreme personal. Nonetheless, ask a question, I'll answer it.

So yea, tomorrow again with the four classes. It's fine though, I really don't mind. I'm done by three anyway, so I still have the entire day. Which I must spend doing matrices homework and some program. The program is due friday, but becuase I won't be here, I should probably try to turn it in early. Which means I have to do it earlier than friday.

I hope it's not raining tomorrow. I like the weather and all, but I don't want a heavy downpour. I just want a little windy drizzle type of day. No, I don't sit in the dark when there's a storm and play eerie music. I just like that kind of weather. Does a number on some of my bones though. 'Specially the cold.

I have to say that for the mean time, I am rather happy. Nothing is really bumming me out, and I am not looking forward to anything tragic. I still have to go see some hematologist. I need to get that done. But other than that, nothing is really wrong right now.

I've been seeing all the pink and red papers advertising V-day and special movies. It should make me all mad, but instead it makes me think about being with that special someone. It is a nice feeling. What's really odd, now that I've been reflecting on my past, is that my major relationships occur at evenly spaced intervals. The beginnings are all one year and four months apart. Following that pattern, I am set for another major relationship sometime this month. Or at least meeting the chic.

Notice how I've said 'major' relationships. I don't count ones that didn't last over a week. I don't count ones where I still talk to the ex. These 'major' relationships have all shaped my love life in some way. Learning from a mistake, a regret, or completely uncharacteristic actions, they are all a part of it. They have made me a better boyfriend. I mean it. I have really learned from the past. And they loved me back then too, so just imagine how their heads would roll to be with me now....wow that's very....my ego running on high, sorry.

Oh, great, now I remember what I hate about V-day. I'm going to end up spilling my guts everywhere on my past. Not this year. I won't let it happen. Wait....did it happen last year? I don't remember. I just remember having a 5 pound bucket of those hearts. Went through them pretty quick too. Lots of football too. Good times.

Think I'm gonna burn some CDs and be done with it. Night.

I'm really pissed now. Can anyone see Monday's entries? pablo andy cabral mesquite

Just read something like "Max Kellerman hasn't been hosting Around the Horn because his ESPN contract is expired." I hope things get signed quick, because Tony Reali can only cut it for so long. I don't mind a week vacation, get that contract resigned.

Assumptions. They can be quite the social killer. People hear one piece of information, and somehow they are able to generate a thousand more involving what was heard. It could be anything from one's diseases being determined by a cramp in the right foot, or one's workload because they go to a demanding school. I know that if I have a foot cramp, I just walk it off, and no doctor tells me, "Andy, you're getting foot cramps because you have lung cancer." Don't know why I said that...

The point is, people have to stop making assumptions. Even if they're right. Instead of guessing the correct response, ask some questions and know for sure.

Why do we make assumptions? Because there are such things as stupid questions. For instance, asking me, "Hey, are you going to take a shower today?" is stupid. I take showers everyday, sometimes twice, once three times. Now, assuming I use Albertson's brand shampoo is stupid. Asking me what shampoo I use, is not. So would people rather ask a question and not sound stupid, or assume and look stupid?

I'm going home on Friday. Should I assume my parents will be waiting for me? No. That's stupid because I have a key to the house, and they might have errands to run. Should I assume they have plans for the night, so I shouldn't ask to do anything? No. It is tons better for me to just ask if they're free. What's the harm in that?

Same goes for calling people and IM'ing people. Don't assume they don't want to talk to you. Let them know what's up. Odd coming from me, considering I never IM people first. That's because if someone IMs me, I'll drop whatever I'm doing and talk to them (by talk I mean listen). However, because I am a listener and I keep my problems to myself, there is no need for me to call someone and say, "Hey, can I listen to you for a while?"

One thing though. Away messages are taken literally. This is why I freak when someone responds when they're away. I understand though that it is necessary to put away when avoiding specific people. So if you have an away message up, I'm not assuming you're away. It's the fact presented to me in a case where I cannot second guess. I don't like lies.

OK, not sure if all that made sense, I sorta just pounded out of the keyboard in 10 or so mins. Either way. Class tomorow at 10. I'm out.

Tim Duncan isn't the best free throw shooter. I just watched his form on one, and his right foot pinches in. As a result, the ball bounced of the left side of the rim. Straight line to the goal, and the shot falls. It's that easy. I know this because I had the same problem about a month ago. After serious thinking, I fixed it in my head, and then translated it to the basketball court. The first night I tried the new form, I think I hit 16 of 20 free throws. What coach wouldn't be happy with that?

So, Van Gundy is the coach for Houston. Why the hell is he having Kelvin Cato gaurding Tim Duncan, and Yao Ming gaurding Rasho Nesterovic? If you flip it, Tim Duncan will get 5 points, all on free throws. Put Yao, you're biggest player, on the other team's most dominating player. It makes sense, and it works. What, are you scared that Rasho might go off for 30? Not in anyone's dreams. Come on Van Gundy. Think.

Best NBA commentator...

Bill Walton

His comments are so outrageous they're hilarious.

Worst NBA commentator...

Steve Kerr

Obvious bias against the other teams in Texas (Houston, Dallas). He will do everything in his power to make San Antonio seem like the top of the league. Sorry, but there are only two teams I don't want to face in the playoffs, Minnesota and Sacramento. Spurs, they got nothing. Big bag o' nothing.

Oh, some more awards...

Band with the most repititive (musical structure) songs...

Incubus!!!

I listen to the new stuff, and I pretty much hear the old stuff.

Recording that should not have won the Grammy for Record of the Year...

Coldplay "Clocks"

I'm sorry, yes, it is catchy, but come on. The only reason people loved it was for the piano background. People dig that. The whole, "I can play an instrument and sing at the same time." He needs to go get arrested some more.

By the which, I really hate people who have no originality with their screen names. For instance, people that choose "Eminem007" suck. Same goes for popular greek gods, cartoon characters, or celebrities. Don't come at me with "Snoopy" or something. Think up something for yourselves, you slow ass bastards. I just had to vent on that.

Mavs lost. Now I'm pissed.

I've made plans for this coming Friday. Going to the ball court, gonna bring a camcorder, and I'm gonna record myself shooting around. I need to figure out where my problems are and how I should fix them. It took me a week or two to learn how to place my feet right. Parallel, pointing directly at the goal. If it helps, you can have one foot just a little bit ahead of the other (That's how Garnett shoots). Knees should bend right beneath you (If you watch Dirk shoot, you'll notice that his knees pinch inwards. That's because he's so tall). I'm not sure how the ball is supposed to be placed, but some of the best shooters don't follow that mold (Bird, Peja). The release is important as well (Ray Allen's release causes the ball to take weird rotations and movements. He still hits it). I know what the fundamentals are, I just have to get a better look at it. When I'm shooting the ball, I can't be looking down at my feet. So yea, plans for friday night. Awesome.

"Guys are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken."

I am the living proof that prevents the above statement from being a fact. I am not taken. I am good. Don't think so? Try me.

Where's my comments? They disappeared. WTF?

I'm sitting here in my dorm, and it just now occurs to me...

I'm not a safe bet yet.

Besides patience, care, attention, an open ear, comfort, and deserving affection, what else do I bring to the table? Wiat, who am I to type these things about me? Isn't this supposed to be written by ex-es or something?

I looked in my bag, and you know what I saw?
A big bag of nothing.

It was an interesting night, to say the least.

I'm just hitting my down time. It's probably because just about 20 mins ago I heard a famaliar voice. It wasn't her, because there's no reason for her to be in Austin. And she was a bit shorter. But it haunts me. I hate it. I'm gonna be in one of those moods for a while. In fact, I think it's time I start my vacation.

I don't want a relationship now. I like to start things at the beginning of a semester. You know, you walk into the class, such and such, etc. It's now February, and I feel that I'm better off single for the mean time. I'm choosing late March because of Spring Break. That's one of those weeks where it's a bit better if you're single. I don't mean that like a stereotypical guy thing, I wouldn't mind having a female friend tag along. But, I have to have my alone time, and that week is perfect.

I know I know, a guy who chooses specific time periods to invest in a relationship. It's weird. I know.

I would like to put Red Hot Chili Peppers on my CD, I really would. But I don't know what to put, and I wouldn't know how well it would fit in. All time fave is "Soul To Squeeze" and I wouldn't mind adding that. I just don't have any more room. I have about 30 seconds left, and that's even after cutting silence in some songs.

Friday friday friday. My favorite. Everyone is all like "Oh, next friday is a 13th." Bah! Tuesday the 13th's scare me. Everything bad happens to me on that day. In fact, I already know ahead of time that there's one in April. So I'm going to barricade myself in my room that entire day. I can't let anything go bad. Not this semester. Not this year.

Got my program done early last night. Went smoother than I thought it would. Usually programmers never get it right the first time around. I got my prime numbers function the first time around though. I sat at the computer trying to remember everything from my EE classes. I decided to shut my brain down and let my fingers work. When I turned my brain back on about an hour later, it looked like a good function. It worked. I said "Wow!"

Almost 4, no call to head over to my bro's. It's fine though. I can watch my shows at 4.

Updated the profile link on the right. Just added a little more information, that's all.

I updated my personal CD also. Well, the CD I'm creating for my future nephew that is. I took a listen to it andit makes a lot more sense this time around. Here's the playlist:

1. Dvorak - New World Symphony Mvt. 4
2. Rimsky-Korsakov - Sheherezade Mvt. 2
3. Art Tatum - Humoresque
4. Louis Armstrong - West End Blues
5. Clifford Brown - Daahound
6. OutKast - My Favorite Things
7. Radiohead - Life in a Glasshouse [Full version] (I think it's on the Knives Out single.)
8. Radiohead - Bulletproof...I Wish I Was
9. Nirvana - Man Who Sold The World [Unplugged]
10. Beastie Boys - Intergalactic Planetary
11. Audioslave - Cochise
12. A Perfect Circle - Gravity
13. Massive Attack - Small Time Shot Away
14. Radiohead - I Will
15. Radiohead - Motion Picture Soundtrack
16. A Perfect Circle - Over

This playlist provides a smoother transition from classical to jazz to alternative. The ending song, "Over" fits really well. It was the last track on their first CD, and it makes perfect sense if you turn it all the way up. First 5 tracks are the same as the first prototype. I only kept one Radiohead song from the first as well. I'm really pleased with this.

I spent about an hour doing programming so I could understand Java a bit better. I can say this...C++ doesn't care if the letter is capitalized or not! I like that way more. What would you rather type, "printf(words here)" or "System.out.print(words here)?" Oh, if "System" isn't capitalized, it won't compile. Totally stupid.

"He" is in quotation marks because I wasn't sure if I was allowed to type Sid or not. Too late now I guess.

Also, I've come to the conclusion that I am on a campus with 50,000 more students, half of which must be female. I'm sure I can find another chic. One of my cousins had a motto that went, "If you ask 10 chics for their number, and you get one, it was a good night." So true.

4 classes again for today. Done by 3 though. Gonna go to my bro's and play some more football. Come back around midnight, put something on this blog, and play games for 4 hours. Relaxation time.

Oh, I'm giving a week's notice. I will be in Dallas on the 13th, and I will come back to Austin late V-day. Want to visit the family, and see how the animals are doing. Real quick visit. Maybe I'll make plans for the afternoon of V-day. Beh, probably not. I've got a haircut appointment sometime that day, I'm guessing at 2. Ladies, after I get my haircut, your jaws will drop when I walk down the street. Oh yea, that' what I'm saying.

OOOOooohh....

Going to eat dinner with a friend. On the way there, this cute blonde gives me the "up and down and back up again" look. I said "Damn!" Had I been on the way back to my dorm, and had I known my roomie would be gone for a couple of hours, no doubt I would have made a play. Quick U-turn, get on the same elevator, get name and invite.

Nothing makes me happier than when a chic checks me out. I don't catch them doing it that often, but every now and then, its like "woah." Man. Good mood. Hell yea.

One class today. Already did the homework too. Crap, I need to finish my program. Due Friday. Also need to get my login ID and stuff. Hope I remember.

Late, and I need sleep. I wrote a bit earlier, so I've forgotten what to say.

Anh, 'he' is gay. Me, I'm straight.

People talk about being desensitized and what not. I understand that it is possible, but I think it takes some effort from the individual as well. Watching people die on TV and such is only half of the equation. I truly believe that the other half is controlled by the person. There are many ways to interpret such viewings, and it is a choice.

You can look at it as death to people, there's no hope. After seeing this, you sit in the dark and cry about how you have it bad. On the other hand, you can see it as death, it's happening to people everywhere. But it's natural. Now, how will I let this information define who I am?

Pretty much, I think you can either take it and cry, or build some character. I chose to build character.

Some might say I am desensitized. I hardly show emotion, and I can easily move on past someone even after being emotionally attached to them. When I cry, it's not because of sadness. When I'm sad, no one can tell. When I'm happy, it only shows a little bit. Look at any picture of me, and it will confuse you when you ask what I'm feeling. One person might say I'm content, the other will say I'm furious. Good luck figuring me out.

I don't get this chic in my psych class. She had a chance today to just say my name and get my attention. I was only a foot away. Nothing. So I've decided to fold my hand, grab my chips, and head to a different table. I love gambling, and this isn't much of a setback. Drop in the bucket.

Courtesy is a great thing. I'm full of it. I wish some people knew of its existence.

People gonna get hurt...

Mavs won thankfully. I feel better.

Listening to this UD radio thing. A lot of people in the room. A lot of conversation. Makes me want to listen to the ticket.

Tomorrow I've got four classes, but none of them are really hard. And they take place over five hours with a one hour break in the middle. Good stuff.

I wrote a bit earlier, and now I've lost any words I had before. Oh well. Tomorrow.

Having to keep up with the Mavs game through ESPN. Really sucks that I don't actually get to watch it. Oh well, better than nothing.

I'm going to break all the light bulbs in my room. It's too damn bright in here. Well, just the light bulbs in the ceiling. Maybe I can figure out how to make them pop once someone throws the switch. Although, I don't want glass flying everywhere. I know about the prank where you put the light bulbs in the freezer over night and then screw them back in. Once someone flips the switch, the things bust. Too messy. I just want the filaments to burn out. I'll figure out something. It sucks that I'm probably not tall enough to reach them anyway. I'll just get some help. Easy enough.

I just went down stairs to get me some Doritos and some drink, and weird stuff happened. At the fridge where they have the powerade, this chic was there thinking about what she wanted to drink. Wasn't there for long. I grabbed the door and held it open for her, because she had been holding the door open with her ass. Once she noticed the door wasn't touching her ass, she turned around and giggled at me. I was just kinda like, "Wha...?" And then she walked all fast away smiling. I totally didn't understand what it was about. Maybe my cute looks had her hoping. Maybe I was closer to her ass than I thought. It could have been that my hair didn't have any gel or stuff in it, so it had its natural shine and healthiness. I don't know. It was cute. If she had said something in addition to giggling, I defintely would have made a play. But unfortunately, I've already forgotten what she looks like, well, at least her body figure. I remember she had blonde hair. Beh.

Once I came back to the dorm I checked my face for any food or something. Nothing. So I guess it was just good looks. Ha!

Ha! Testes...testes...1...2.

Tuesday. Yea. No early classes tomorrow. I get to sleep in however late I want. Well, until about 11:30 or so. I'll probably end up waking at 10. Maybe grab some breakfast, watch some T.V. Whatever helps me relax.

Ordered a A Perfect Circle single from Amazon. Should be getting here in 5 to 10 days. Makes me happy. Has a remix of Blue, which is a really good song. Right now I'm listening to Radiohead, like always. I've been checking out the OutKast CD more and more. I'm trying to figure out what tracks I like. Andre's CD has more jazz backgrounds, and I'm really liking that. Big Boi has some sweet beats, and I like that too.

Parents said to look at shoes today. So I will. I'm thinking about this vacation I'm going to take, and I could spend hours at the gym. In fact, that might be the best thing. It might force me to fix my shot. And my handles.

Since I introduced myself to the chic in Psych, I haven't spoken to her since. And I usually sit a couple of rows behind her. Today I got to class a bit early. She walked into the room, and scoped all the available seat. There were two to the right of me that weren't taken. Well, she chose her normal row. But when she took of her jacket, she obviously glanced at me. I don't get it really. I offered once. Don't expect me to make another move. If the first didn't work, then I'm just going to assume (yea, assume) that you are taken. Don't want to waste my time. And I'll never go after a chic with a boyfriend. Even if she will cheat on him with me.

I've noticed what I'm attracted to about a chic's face. I notice eyes. I've seen real exotic eyes, and those have me taking double-looks. I've also noticed that I like blue-green eyes. Although, those with the peach colored clear skin and deep brown eyes also get me. If they have the dark brown eyeliner real light too, man, I just can't stop looking. Staring, whatever.

I may or may not be shallow. I do know that guys like looking at attractive things. And I'm really trying to make sure that I'll spend a lot of time with someone I can wake up to the next morning and not freak out over what I drank last night. I just want a chic who I can hold in my arms, not the other way around. A chic who has better hair than me, and my hair is damn nice. A chic who I can talk to about anything. Including sports. Sounds like an ideal chic. Maybe. But I think I can get that. I think the things I can offer should be able to get some of the best available. I just gotta get them to step trhough the door.

I'm sure with a name like "FBombAndy" people are wondering why I don't drop F-bombs. That's because I'm sure females read this, at least some females, and I just feel weird using obscene language when there's females about. I dunno.
andy cabral
So yea, gonna get some sleep. I'm feeling tired. And thirsty.

I was just watching some of the Spurs game, and these announcers are such homers. Apparently, they can see more of the video footage then the T.V. viewers. When they showed a replay to see whose hand touched the ball last before going out of bounds, the announcer said "No doubt it's San Antonio's ball." He said this, even though the camera man didn't even get the ball in his sight. I don't care if they are on the court, they are about 30 feet away from the scene, but that doesn't stop them from saying what they think they know. Stupid San Antonio people. Your team won, yea, so what? They ain't gonna do it again this year. Low man on the totem pole.

I did watch the Super Bowl, and yes, I am disappointed. But they were evenly matched, and I'm sure every New England fan was crapping their pants when the Panthers tied it at 29. If you want to blame someone, blame the idiot kicker Kasay. Wrong time to have the kick-off float out of bounds. Still, I chose Carolina, I predicted the score (which I said was going to be 24 - 21) so no one can accuse me of not having a spine. I put 'em out there.

Got class in the morning, but no history tomorrow. For some reason he's decided not to have class. Better for me, I don't like history. That means I'll have a two hour lunch break. How nice.

Went to Best Buy on Friday I think, and I picked up two Radiohead imports. Already put them on my computer so I will always have them. It's just in case I ever lose the CD case or something.

I don't know what all I have to do this week. I'm probably gonna do my matrices homework on Tuesday. I still need to sign up for those psychology experiments, and I have to visit the CS computer lab to register my login ID or something. Should finish the program assignment too.

I was told not to be so bitter anymore. I'm not sure what the remedy is for this. I don't know because I have no idea what the source is. I just need a change of scenery I guess. Wait....I got it.

I know what I need, but I don't want it. I know what I want, but I know I won't get it. I know what I'll get, but I don't need or want it.

That's all I'm going to put about that. But it does make me lose hope. Makes me lose motivation. Oh well, this happens to me at least once a year. I'll get through it.

I just don't understand. I'm not sure if I've been like this all semester or just recently. But I really do want to break away. Just lose contact with everyone for about a week. I did this last semester, but I don't remember how it turned out. I just stop getting online, I stop answering my phone, and I stay away from the dorm as much as possible. I really try my hardest to not be talked at by anyone. I'll probably still keep the blog goin'.

Don't even get me started on Valentine's Day. Like I just said in an email, I hate it when I'm single, but it could probably be because I'm a guy. Maybe some guys out there like V-day. I don't...

Oh my gosh. I actually missed a day. I didn't post anything for Saturday, and it's too late now. That sucks. I had a streak going. I can't believe it. I let my fans down.

Gonna watch the Super Bowl. Gonna have me some BBQ. Gonna get my chicken on. Oh hell yea. I'm going all the way for Carolina. They weren't supposed to make it this far, but they have, and I don't see it ending yet.

Listening to The Love Below. There's some damn good jazz backgrounds in it. Makes me happy. I'm still hooked into the jazz even though I haven't played it in almost 2 years. I can't improvise, but if you put a sheet of music in front of me, I'll play it.

Went to the mall today. Walked around a bit, looked at shoes and games. I didn't find any great shoes, and the ones I liked were way expensive. I don't want to pay $100 for some B-ball shoes, because I did that the first time. The T-Macs were worth it, because it gave me the confidence I need to play my best. When I pull a sick cross-over or spin move, I know that I'm doing it so well the person defending me is going to fall on his ass. I've done it to people before. It's called "breakin' ankles." I'm not AI, but people don't see it coming. They see a small guy with glasses. In reality, I'm more like a young, very raw Finley. I love to pull the step back jumper. And my shots are real streaky. When I'm in the zone, (which really does exist) I hit everything I throw. Played 25 once with my buddies, and I ran off to a 16 point lead on everyone. I hit 16 before anyone else scored. All they could ask was, "What's got into him?" Great stuff. What's weird is that I ate about an hour before and I didn't get sick or anything. Now if I eat at all earlier in the day, it's gonna bother me too much.

Still haven't been to the gym. I'm ready though. Maybe some real big-time playas will take notice and try to draft me to their team. Ha. I can't even really play full-court yet. I've done it once, and I felt good afterwards, but that was 10 months ago. I need to get back into shooting shape first. When I can shoot 300 shots per day and feel fine, I think that's when I'll do full-court again. I think I heard Peja shoots 500 shots a day. I think it might be more. But I want to have workouts like that. Maybe a coach will notice me. I could play for some chump team. I dunno.

Man I hate clowns.