Sorry guys, but I have a doctor's appointment at 9:15, class at 12:30, and another appointment at 3:45. I gotta go to sleep soon.

The second doctor appointment is with a hematologist. That means for sure that blood is going to be drawn. I'm going to be drained tomorrow afternoon. Still, I might go to the gym later that night. Gotta get healthy, gotta work on my game.

You're right Lora, I need sleep. Since the beginning of the semester, I have restricted myself to 7 hours of sleep or less a night. I adjust on weekends by getting about 9 hours a night.

Throw into the mix doctor's appointments, tests, and rainy days, and I'm just ready to explode. I'm 19, but my parents call me 'grandpa.' I have had more experience than any person my age. I have had more stress than anyone my age. Well, maybe there's a few cases out there that are the exception. But when people start complaining about things, I just have to stop and think, "Wow, these people wouldn't last a week as me." I don't fault them for it. I just realize that I am older than what I should be. Body of a 19 year old (in most places, definitely not my knees) and 40 in my mind. I could give a list of all the crapful events, but I don't want to waste that much space. No doubt I will hit my midlife crisis when I'm 24.

Let's just say that every event has me permanently desensitized. And I really mean it. Not like these teens who think they're desensitized to violence. Have them really watch someone get shot, stabbed, or such, and they will start crying. If they are desensitized, it's to violence on TV, not violence in general. I'm not saying I wouldn't freak out, I'm just saying I really do mean desensitized. Not fully, just partially.

I still have feelings, I can still care for people. But I don't let spilt milk get to me. I move forward, because even glimpsing behind you is not progress.

But yes, same office tomorrow morning. Got some walking to do, at 8:30 in the morn. It'll be like band practice, only different.