You want an easy way to piss me off? Ask me about a Mavs game after a loss. I just want to hit something...

Yea, so what? We'll see who's laughing come May.

This weekend, I'm going to play some Bball. And I'm going to play like never before. I'm going to make my opponents wish they never challenged me. It's on. The weather will be a little cold, just the way I like it. The courts will be a little empty, another thing that I like. It's gonna be right outside my dorm, so I've got the home court advantage. I'm going into this weekend after having a decent week. If I wake up frustrated Saturday morning, someone is going to get it. And I mean get it good. If I wake up pissed, I'll make people hurt.

I'll probably walk out of that door of the cage more banged up than anyone else, but not without a win. Blood dripping down my lip, knees, arms, wherever, it doesn't matter. I'm going to walk out with a smile. I'll make sure to that. I've improved too much to let it go to waste this one chance. Well, it's not one chance. It's just one of a few.

I need a good nickname. I mean one of those nicknames that ballers earn. I'll even settle to be known on a first name basis. When you say Dirk, Peja, or Vlade, you know who they're talking about. I could be the next "Andy." I really don't like my real first name that much.

Oh yea, why do I feel a little better?

Because when I woke up this morning, I felt totally new. I felt as if I owned everything and everyone. It was amazing. As the day progressed, the feeling went away. But yea, sitting in class, having chics check me out, it just really made me feel like royalty. Even in Jazz, chics were looking at me like I was a celebrity. Maybe I should check the mirror. I could have just had food on my face or something. Wouldn't that be my luck? Yes, yes it would.

(frown)

So yea, the NBA regular season starts later tonight. Gonna watch the Mavs take on the Lakers. They better outscore them by 50. With all of that shooting, there better be a record breaker.

Still single, although I feel a little better. Well, to a point...

It's winter, and winter can be one of the worst seasons for single people. Couples get a little bit closer, and couples stay indoors more. If you're walking through a hallway and you see a couple hold hands, it can be a nice sight. It can also really piss you off. Maybe that's not what I mean. It can really put you in a bad mood.

It makes you realize that you're missing out on something. You are missing out on something enjoyable and satisfying. And while you create self-pity, the other guy you see is smiling his fake A off. Deep down, you know you could take her away. But it goes against every one of your morals.

I can't even think about any chic who is currently in a relationship. Bad history sparked that. But if a chic currently involved said to me, "Hey, let's ditch him, and we can be an item," I wouldn't be able to accept. It would kill me. And if I dated a chic who told me a month later she was seeing someone also, she would defintely be on my "Do not talk to" list. Even after breaking up, I still would remember, and I would not be able to trust her again. Rabble rabble rabble.

What makes the winter so great for starting a relationship is the fact that you miss out on the family holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever. You have a very early relationship, and it's not yet time to meet the folks. In fact, the next holiday you can celebrate with your significant other is Valentine's Day, or quite possibly New Year's Eve. Neither of those are as bad. Why? Because at that point, you have a girlfriend, so you can laugh at the single people. Those are the two holidays where being single sucks the most. You don't want to spend New Year's Eve passed out alone on some bed. You don't want to spend Valentine's Day by yourself. Once you get past Feb. 14th, what's the next holiday? None. But if you count Spring Break, well that's a week to be single. You don't want to have missed opportunites.

But yea, if I see you in the hallway, the two of you just standing there, I'm gonna get a mean face on. Save your love for behind closed doors. Rub someone else's nose in it. You don't want me in a bad mood. "But Andy, you can get a girlfriend, and then you won't be so bitter." Bah Humbug. Could whatever. Kiss my A. I'll be bitter when I damn well please. Get out of my face.

So yea, I watched the Cowboys beat the S out of Detroit. That really made my day. Until I remembered that I have a History test tomorrow. Talk about sucking...

I was thinking about my current relationship status (single) when it hit me. If I still lived in Dallas, there is no way I would be single right now. There would be no free time, because there would be dates every night. My calender would be booked. "Why?" you might ask. Mainly because in Dallas, I know the market, and I know how to advertise myself. Here in Austin, the expectations of guys are completely different. I'm not exactly sure what is expected out of me. And I really don't feel like learning. When I walk through campus, I walk as though I am taken, and I am not available to even talk to anyone. It's a horrible thing to do.

It really clicked with me after I started thinking harder about the wedding I just attended. There were many chics there, and I felt that a few held interest in me. But I did not make a move, because I live in Austin. I call Austin home. I know that if I were to hook up with someone who lives in Dallas, I would have to endure a long distance relationship. That just doesn't work with me. I have the patience, and I can have the trust. But I can't make trips back to Dallas every weekend. Even if all the resources were there, I would not want to. It would take a miracle to convince me to. 210 miles isn't that far. But it's far enough for me.

If I lived in Dallas, then everything would be in it's right place.* I would be able to date those chics I saw at the wedding. I could meet female friends of my friends back in Dallas. It would be so easy. There are a few friends from high school that I still talk to that I wouldn't mind dating. But, as long as I live in Austin, they are off limits to me. They might make a move, but I will not be able to accept. It might be one of those story book "the one"** type things, but that doesn't matter, because I will not do the long distance thing. For all I know, I'm missing out on something good.

All I can say is "oh well." I've got my thing down here in Austin. Yea, I wish some people I knew went to UT also. But hey, they want to stay at UTA, or UTD, or UNT, or wherever. I can accept that. I might not like it. But I have to deal with it. I alone decided to go far off. It might look more like I left them. That could be the case. And sometimes I think about transferring over there. We could have alot of fun again if I were to rejoin my group.

Anyway, ladies in Dallas, I'm sorry I won't date you. It's probably nothing personal. Well, it could be. But the main reason I can't is because I don't live there. Move to Austin, we'll talk. If I come back to Dallas, we'll talk. Otherwise, I apologize.

* Nice Radiohead reference.
** I really hate that bull S. There is no such thing as "the one." There have to be at least 10 people in the same state who could be "the one", so I guess it's not "the one." It's more like "one of the few." I've been called "the one" twice, and I don't talk to them anymore, so I guess I'm not "the one." Statistically, if you want to end a relationship with me, call me "the one." It hasn't failed yet.

Well, given my luck, if any weekend had to suck, it would be the one I spend at home. I'm not even going to touch college football. On the upside, I was home. Also, the Cowboys pulled another victory out of their A. Just amazing...they're 4-1.

So yea, weddings are something else. Pretty much, a guy and girl make it ok for them to do the dirty, and the real test is the 4 hour process. Not only that, but you have to be in front of your family as well as your significant other's. One false step, and it's blown. Add to the mix that there are cameramen everywhere. Now, there's evidence of the goof up.

If you attend a wedding, and you're not the one getting married, things can suck fast. Especially if you're single. I'm a guy, so from my point of view, it's like this. You look around the room and see a bunch of chics all dressed up and prettied up. Their hair is all nice and fixed, make up is exact, and the dresses hide all of the physical flaws. You want to go up to them, but you realize that this is a one time deal. They HAVE to look this way, because this is a wedding. Tomorrow, they could go back to wearing sweat pants and baggy shirts. It's sorta like false advertisement.

If you've seen these girls before, maybe in high school, then you know some of their appearances are for real. But still, it's not like they can be mean to you right now. They might smile and talk to you, but deep down, they want to kick you right in the sack. I'm not a jerk to females, but I still get that feeling.

So yea, all the single guys go to the stage or dance floor or whatever. The groom throws the garter out there, and some poor guy ends up catching it. Now everyone in the area has to make "woo" sounds and say things like "who will be the lucky girl?" Now the bouquet gets thrown into a scrum of females. Dresses and hair are pulled, and women turn into savages. Sometimes. But once the bouquet is caught, that's it, the audience has to make a big deal out of that. Then everything goes back to normal. We all eat cake and get fat, lessening the chance of another marriage.

Eventually the bride and groom sneak off to the broom closet, and things happen. Meanwhile, the two families are starting to drink more and more. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for some reason, we have to make a good thing bad. You add liquor to a reception, and you can expect some embarrasing and humiliating moments. Old disco is played, because every wedding DJ has YMCA in the rotation. (By the way, you guys suck. You guys absolutely suck.) Adults crowd the dance floor, people fall down, everyone laughs. Then they leave. By this time, I had better be halfway home.

I like weddings every now and then. Sometimes, the building chosen is really nice. Sometimes the parties don't get reckless. Sometimes there aren't dozens of crying kids. Sometimes the females are single, and have really low standards. But how often does this happen? Not often enough.

By the way, I don't dance. I can't dance. I was in band for so long, I understand rhythm, but I can't dance. I don't care. I'm a guy, it doesn't matter. You want to slow dance, fine, I can do that. But don't expect me to do all these new show off dance moves all the young kids do.

Also, don't expect me to initiate conversations. I don't like doing it, and I probably never will. You want a conversation, come get one. Otherwise, don't expect me to leave my seat. I'm going to find a table in the corner, I'm going to drink my drink, and I'm going to enjoy not talking. Not saying I hate talking, but I can appreciate silence. You want me to hold your hand, fine. You want to talk at me, fine. But please don't get mad because I didn't leave my seat. It's a nice seat. I'm sitting in it. It must be good.

Enough on my rant...

Oh yea, Laura* didn't say hi to me first, so F it. Maybe could have had a good time, but F it.

Cowboys won today....Longhorns won yesterday....this has been one of the best weekends in a while, but this whole month already sucks as a whole. People around me getting sick, four tests this month, and I think two papers. That just sucks.

So yea, I'm talking to a friend, and another friend she talks to said "hi." I just found this weird because I haven't talked to this second friend in quite a long time. They need names. How about Emily* and Laura*. Emily is my friend, and Laura is her friend that I haven't talked to in quite some time.

When two chics talk about you, even if it's just for a little bit, you want to know every little detail. But when you do that, you start to seem weird and stuck on it. It's just that knowing people are talking about you feels good at first, but if you know what they say, you either feel even better or you feel horrible.

So yea, Emily mentions stuff like "being reunited" and such. Very hard to interpret. But I'm the type that knows there's something deeper and hidden, but I'm not going to try to figure it out. I just look at it as "oh, this is just a poke at me." The only thing is that when you look at it like that, you could possibly be missing out on something.

This also has a little to do with the "drop a good word" technique that I mentioned in an earlier post. What if they drop the word, but you don't pick it up? That would be weird in the way that, you're reaction could be interpreted as a lack of interest. What if you are interested? That sucks.

I'm not saying I'm interested in this reunion thing, and I'm not saying I'm not interested. I'm probably just thinking about it too much. I guess it's just that when someone you really didn't keep in contact with still remembers you and events involving the both of you, you wonder about any impact you might have had on them. I know that there are people out there right now who have lost contact with me, but I still remember them, and it's because they somehow had an impact on how I think or act or something.

I know it's probably my fault that Laura and I don't talk anymore, and I can accept that. I just don't want to seem like a jerk or something. I still remember her. I still respect her. If she said hi to me, I would say hi, and I could easily listen to her for hours.

I'm quiet...but if anyone says hi to me, I can carry a conversation for a while. I don't want to start a conversation where one is not wanted. I guess that's why I don't always IM people first (Emily. You know who you are).

My mind is just fried....I could very easily be confused right now. Either way, three test tomorrow, I'm out.

* names changed again.

History sucks. In my opinion, there is no subject as crappy as history. I always go into that class with the intention of staying awake all 50 minutes, but it never happens. He starts talking to the students about their hometowns, and my eyes go shut.

Jazz Appreciation is so great. We spent the first 11 minutes of class listening to Art Blakey. That let me clear my head and get relaxed. That class goes by to fast though.

Microeconomics kinda sucks. We do the same examples all the time. She's a grad student, and it's her first time teaching. She needs to be more strict. These guys next to me keep drumming on the table really loud, and it really pisses me off. Not only that, but everyone in that class (excluding me) talks all the time. I don't talk because I really couldn't get along with anyone in there.

So yea, I wear my headphones to and from Jazz. It lets me ignore all the stupid talk floating in the hallways. Why is it that everyone walking in front of me walks extremely slow? And then there's the people who stop in the middle of the hallway and talk to their friends. Don't they realize that other people have to use the hallway? Do they not see it?

Going back home on the 10th. Got a wedding to go to, some basketball to play, and some sleeping to catch up on. Gotta get a haircut too while I'm there. I always try to keep my visits low profile. It's not that I think everyone I know will want to do something. I don't know that many people who I could hang out with. But I just like to stay home, stay indoors, and just relax. If people knew I were home, and they just wanted to hang out over at my house, then I would be fine with that.

It's almost October 1st. Time goes by quickly. I think I have four tests coming up, including one tomorrow. Only two of them should really be hard. I also forgot that I have to do a concert report....I need to jump on that.

So yea, I'm talking to Emily*, and she tells me that guys "with no balls" are the biggest turn-off for most women. Guys "with no balls," what's wrong with you?

Males are born with two things called testicles. They are the source of any macho thing we do. If a guy does something really painful, even if it's stupid, then that man has balls. If a guy walks up to a chic who is obviously out of his league and asks for her number, then that man has balls.

So, let's say a guy tells a friend that he is interested in a certain someone. Then he instructs that friend to tell her. This is called the "drop a good word for me" technique. It lets the man inform the woman through a medium that he finds her attractive. If she accepts this word and talks to the man, then the guy wins. If she avoids him like the plague, the guy doesn't lose. Why? Because the rejection was not directly to his face and he avoids embarassment. He can shrug it off by saying something like "Oh well." The guy who uses this technique does not have any balls.

According to Emily, this is very unattractive. Also, she states, "the unattractiveness is when a guy tells everyone he likes you except you and that's how he expects you to find out...nothing's going to happen out of THAT." So what's a solution?

Be a man and step up to the plate. Tell a girl "Look, I find you attractive." You really gotta put your balls out there. If you're afraid of getting hurt, then you should go play a game of chess and call it a day. Otherwise, say to yourself, "My balls are on the table. I'm a man."

Emily also states, "if the possibility of rejection scares you away from telling a person directly, you're not cut out for something to happen."

Strong words...

* All names have been changed to keep privacy

I forgot to mention a couple of results from one game of dating poker.

When the guy wins, he is forced to leave the table for a couple of rounds. This is the whole process of dating that takes him out. This also gives the losers another chance to redeem themselves. If a guy who has all aces is constantly at the table, he's being a bastard, and a bouncer has to get rid of him. No one likes a greedy bastard.

When a loser runs out of chips, it usually results in that person going home to mom and crying for a month or two. In real extreme cases, they usually figure out that they are destined to be single and quit, or they turn homo.

If a guy gets married, he is retiring from the game. This makes all his poker buddies real happy.

By the which, there were many contributions to this idea from the very beautiful Anh (apply lips to bottom), who is so evil for making me think. Thank you Anh. Now where's my brain medicine?


Roommate Quote Number Three
"Stop! Don't come in!" (Tee hee hee)

I should really explain the "guys embarassing themselves" in my whole "girls don't have to do the work" entry.

The analogy I just came up with not too long ago is the best way I can describe this. But first, let's check out a statistic I'm going to create. What do you think is the ratio of guys being rejected to girls being rejected? I'm going to say a bajillion to 1. If a guy walks into a club, asks 10 girls for their numbers, he might get 2 or 3. If a girl goes into a club and asks 10 guys for their numbers, she will get all 10. This sort of has to do with supply and demand. Guys have a lot of demand for females, but supply is limited. Females, very little demand for guys (because "they're all pigs"). By the way, we are not all pigs. Note: Supply of guys is through the roof.

So, let's think of this whole world of dating from a guy's POV as a poker game. Guys are holding the cards, they have their poker chips, and there are other people playing against him. The cards represent his traits and characteristics that women find desirable. The poker chips represent his emotional capacity. The jackpot is the girl the guys are chasing after. The other guys playing against him are the guys going after the same girl. A guy wins, he gets the girl.

So, a chic walks by, and a bunch of guys ante up. These cards in their hands are already pre-dealt to them by the Almighty himself. If you have all Aces, you're a bastard. If you have a pair of twos, I'm sorry. So, they take turns adding bets. Then they call and throw it all down. Guy with the best hand wins, he gets all the chips, which are added to his "ego" pile along with the jackpot. The losers get to cry for a while, go to their jobs, raise some more money to get some more chips (Not real money, just something to ease his pain).

Now, if you're smart, you'll know when to fold, and you'll know when to bluff. Bluffing includes throwing more chips into the pot. If you bluff, it's the equivalent of telling her your feelings. The other guys might be caught off guard, and they might fold. This can increase your chances of "winning." On the other hand, they might see right through your bluff, they might throw their chips on the table and you could lose tons o' chips. It's best to fold when this chic is way out of your league. Then you don't lose any chips.

I've been out of the game for a while now, I love to gamble, and I'm getting that itch. Past year or two, I've been building my pile of chips.


Roommate Quote Number Two
"You know what else is a little damp?" (Very suggestive).

On my web site, it says, "I forgot to mention that one of the main things I look for is a good singing voice. There's just something about meeting up with your woman after a hard day, and having her sing you something real slow and soothing." Somehow, this put the wrong image into my roommate's head. He imagined that I would walk in the door all sweaty after working out, and then my woman's eyes would see mine, and then she would burst into some aria. That's not at all what I was trying to say or describe. I definitely mean a song like something Mazzy Star would do, or Sarah McLachlan. I don't need some Charlotte Church or crap. How would that make me feel better?

Here is a small excerpt from one of Mazzy Star's good songs.

"I look to you when I see nothing,
I look to you to see the truth."

How can that not work for a guy?

I didn't get to play basketball because the weather was getting bad. That could be why my knee was hurting, the whole change in pressure or whatever. It's still humid outside. Kinda sucks. I'll probably try to play basketball tomorrow. Friday I get to go home for the weekend. I really want it to be kept quiet. I don't want to go out much while I'm there.

From now on, I'm going to post a quote from my roommate with every entry on this thing. Here goes with the first one.

"You're rubbing off on me." (But he took that the most wrong way possible.)

About to go play some basketball. I think I'm going to work on my outside shot. My post moves are good enough for right now. On my way back up to my dorm just minutes ago, my knee got some sharp pains. So we'll get to see if I blow a knee or what in an hour or two.

You know, being on the bus, sitting in class, and lounging in my room has got me thinking. Why don't chics ever initiate contact with guys? It always has to be the guy who gets to embarass himself with a stupid one liner. If a chic so much as said "hi" to a guy, all of the work would be done. Yes there's the "I'm looking right at you" and what not, but that can be very misleading. She could be looking at someone behind you, and that can lead to a very awkward situation. Girls, just say "hi" and you can double the potential boyfriends available to you.

I really hate those moments when you see someone, but after closely looking, you realize it's not them. Like seeing an old flame, but it's only someone that slightly resembles them. You almost walk up to them and say "What are YOU doing here?!" Seconds before doing so, you stop yourself, rub your eyes, and walk away. It can really mess up the rest of your day.

Am I the only one who has died in their dreams? My roommate says he never has. Just wondering...

First day of class went well. Nothing too hard. Just talking about the course outlines and what-not. I have some fun classes. I'm sure I'll enjoy the jazz appreciation class. It is right at lunch time, but I'll manage.

"Zeke" has been fired as Indiana's head coach. He and Larry Bird just can't coexist. Two great players of the game still carry their differences.

I can't stand baseball. I keep up with it a little, just so I can spout stats, and to understand the situations when it's disucssed on PTI or ATH.

There's an article on ESPN.com talking about how Van Exel is going to take it out on the Mavs. Before the trade deadline last season, Van Exel talked about how he would trade himself to benefit the team. Van Exel understood that he was the only valuable tradeable piece of the Mavs. And there's talks about how Van Exel is mad. I can understand that. With the Mavs, he was a winner, not just for the team, but in the eyes of Dallas people as well. During the playoffs, the "Big Three" was changed to the "Big Four." Announcers and ESPN analysts had even acknowledged this.

Dallas still has four, and they might be called the "Big Four." But it'll be hard for me to watch a Mavs game without Van Exel.

Finally back online. Took forever. Dan Patrick and Mark Cuban really got into it today on Sportscenter. It was actually kind of funny. And I recorded it too! Needed some basketball today, but the courts are closed. I gotta wait until Wednesday, and that's when classes start.

Still waiting for the new A Perfect Circle CD. Sounds good so far from what I've heard. I still have to go get my Neptunes CD.

This dorm room is coming along nicely. Soon people will WANT to come into this room. That's what I'm talkin' about. 6th floor.

I hate to see Van Exel leave the Mavs. But he's the one guy that's tradeable and has value. Just gotta wait and see if it pans out in favor of the Mavs. Quincy is the starting QB for the Cowboys. I wanted him to get it more than Hutch, just because the media guys were quick to jump on Q-Car but not C-Hutch. I can't stand Jerry Jones.

MTV VMAs are coming up this week. That's always fun to watch.

No internet yet. I'll post in a week or two.

Almost 6 o' clock. Gotta get dressed for some real basketball. Last game here for a while, so I gotta put in all my effort. I watched Around The Horn and PTI like usual. Woody Paige is the best. No fear of the host, and will make fun of anyone. PTI was alright. I'm still waiting for Tony to get back. Found this html editor I always has on my computer but never used. I'm gonna mess around with that and see what I can learn.

Things are starting to come together finally. I have started a web page with a link to this. But as usual, once I get going, I get real tempted by my bed. Tomorrow is a big day, considering that it's my last full day back home for the summer. I have to move back to Austin and prepare for the next semester. I'll be spending this day playing basketball, inviting some friends over, and smoking a good cigar. Man I love basketball. It's the only sport I'm decent at.

It's my first blog, so I won't write too much yet. I'll save the real heat for later.